It’s blog post three since I’ve begun my journey to self awareness. I found out three things, I know .0000000000000000000…000000000001% of what goes on in the world, I like writing, and someone left a moldy taco in my underwear drawer. But the main thing is that I love writing and I know nothing about the world so I combined these two things to learn stuff. But even when I search world news to broaden my horizons, guess who it always comes back to. That’s right. The rounder version of a chauvinistic basketball, Saint Trump.
As previously mentioned, I tried to delve into world news even though it should always be America First. I even typed in “World News excluding anything orange.” But It was hard to find a part of the world unaffected by his narcissism and seductive gaze. You know the gaze …
The gaze that says “Hello America. I am here to serve. And touch you in my mind as I cover it up with this sly as shit smile. Oops I just swallowed my teeth and I’m choking to death and the nurse giving me the Heimlich maneuver is a 4 at most but she’s saving my life so that bumps her up to a 4.5.”
Anyways back to the point. So I tried to find news unrelated to the cheeky bastard and what I found in the news was NATO. I almost didn’t click it because I assumed it stood for Not Applicable TO, so I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries and read about some secret society that had nothing to do with me. But I ripped off my regular ass to channel my bad ass and read up on it anyways. Turns out I got the acronym wrong which is unlike me, but it’s the North Atlantic Treaty Organization.
I then saw in the article, a picture of an autopsy covered in sawdust only to realize it was actually the president. Prez isn’t sure he wants to deal with this whole NATO thing anymore. Which I understand completely. Why? Well pardon my French but sometimes you have to grab life by the p***y and try new things! Let your toupee down, rip your top off, and do something you’ve never done before!
Ya never know what’s gonna happen so don’t bother taking the cautious route. If the utter lack of instability is putting your personal life at risk of mundanity, then shake things up and leave NATO. Some people spew shit like “Oh no, I’m scared! I don’t want my sweet Latvian children growing up under the threat of nuclear warfare.” These are pretty trivial things when you compare them to the blood sucking emails still lurking around. Plus, America is first and we can’t keep giving them all our money just because they’re scared of a little Russian Dicktator. We’re just a small fragile nation whose economy is last on the list of the world’s largest economies if you start with the smallest.
We can’t be handing out money left and right for useless things like international stability when we could be using it for a wall to keep people with darker skin from entering our country. Pigmentation=peril. It’s not a coincidence that they both start with the same letter. It’s proof of a causal relationship between race and decency. That’s in the Constitution right under the line that says “If your daughter becomes someone other than your daughter at any point, grab that fine piece of ass.”
I think Trump is on to something here. When he throws out phrases like “trust me, it’s gonna be terrific,” I know I can relax. He’s thought it out. We’re in debt. He knows that. So he understands that sacrificing good relationships with allies and letting Putty Poots destroy everything around him, is necessary to make America great again. Well one part of America. Mexico, Canada, and South America can figure something else out. Maybe they should take up a therapeutic hobby like crocheting. We can’t give them opportunity but we can buy them yarn. Sometimes I lay awake at night fearing how poor we’ll all be if we stick with this NATO potato shenanigans.
Most revenue comes from income tax. If Trump had paid his, he alone could have covered our national debt and your national debt and then spelled “We have no more debt” in mini platinum caviar yachts. But he understands that his own mental health is more important. If he had paid income tax, he wouldn’t have been able to afford his daily breakfast of donuts and children’s souls. A hungry Trump equals an angry Trump and an angry Trump equals a Nasty Trump and a Nasty Trump gets a backlash of Nasty Women. And once women are given a voice the world worsens. Look at Malala, Harriet Tubman, or J.K. Rowling and tell me to my face, that women having power is a good thing. In the words of my idol DJT, goodbye. (He’s probably said goodbye before.)